


Instead of Me

by orphan_account



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Exploration, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, Killugon - Freeform, Multi, One Night Stands, Possessiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 08:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21241316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Gon discovers the world of sex, and Killua isn’t quite ready for that.





	1. Chapter 1

“Aaand how do I look?”

Gon stands in front of the bathroom door of the hotel room with a big smile. He’s wearing a knitted green sweater and blue jeans, hair unusually neat. Surprisingly well kept.

Killua glances up from his portable video game nonchalantly. His blue eyes widen a bit when he catches Gon. It isn’t often he chooses to sport clothing that isn’t “the usual” or for working out. It’s fresh.

_You look beautiful, Gon._

“Not bad. You going on a date or something?” Killua teases. 

Gon beams. “Yeah actually, you know that girl we met when we checked in here a few days ago? She gave me her number and asked me out for the night.” 

If Killua were sipping a drink, he definitely would have spit it out. He was  _not_ supposed to be right about that. His face gets hot. “You can’t just accept any date offered to you like that!” 

“It’s okay, Killua. Rin seems very nice and she said she likes animals a lot,” Gon says while slipping on shoes. “She’s pretty, too.” 

_Rin, huh?_ Killua goes silent at that and stares at the blankets beneath him.

“Well, I’ll see you in a bit! Hope it will be fun,” Gon says casually. And just like that, he’s out the door and off on his date. The room is left in silence.

Killua’s face reddens and he runs his fingers through his ghostly white hair. His fingertips begin to shake a little bit.

They were supposed to be in it together weren’t they? Just the two of them?What the  _hell_ is Gon thinking? Killua’s teeth clench. 

Along with the beat of his heart, his mind begins to race. 

So Gon’s probably straight. He most likely won’t look twice at Killua the way he looks at Gon. Somebody’s going to get in the way of what they have and she’ll be everything Killua can’t give him. He’s getting all this female attention and that’s making him— 

Killua closes his eyes tight and exhales. 

He may not admit his thoughts aloud, but he’s not ignorant to them. His budding feelings for Gon have introduced new emotions and the struggles that accompany them. He’s getting the hang of sorting through all of them, he thinks. 

At first it was easy to shrug off feeling pissed when Gon received a not-so-platonic compliment from another person. Killua had trouble with mood swings when it first began, so there wasn’t much to think about there.

But when it was slowly accompanied by his longing gazes at Gon and catching himself in the middle of a romantic fantasy, he knew he had some thinking to do. 

He knew he just might be fucked.


	2. Chapter 2

“Who’s this?” 

Killua’s inquiry began with a simple curiosity. There was no maliciousness in his voice, really. Gon met a lot of people on their adventures that he was quick to introduce to Killua with pride. He thought she’d be just another casual acquaintance. 

Naturally, he was wrong. 

“Her name’s Cynthia,” Gon chimes. The girl at his side bows. Her chestnut brown hair falls in front of her. She’s a little tall and lanky, like a deer. “We just had dinner and she showed me around the city. I thought I’d introduce you two!” 

Cynthia blushes, and Killua wants to slam the door in their faces.  _Not another one._

“Killua,” the white haired teen introduces himself simply instead. His brows are furrowed and there’s a grimace on his face despite himself. He doesn’t look the girl in the eye once, and instead peers off to his right with annoyance. 

Cynthia tilts her head slightly. “Is this a bad time, or..?” 

“No, it’s a  _wonderful_ time, come on in.” Killua’s voice drips with attitude and he steps out of the way to let Gon and his date into their motel room. 

As they walk past, Cynthia avoids eye contact and her shoulders are stiff. Gon is the opposite. He gives a hard stare at Killua as he walks in, visibly attempting to figure out what the hell is up with his best friend. If Gon has something to say to him, he must be deciding against it. 

Killua sees Gon whisper something to his date, who only nods softly. 

  
“Ah, now that we’re at the motel I can show you that stone I was talking about,” Gon says to Cynthia from the other side of the room now. 

Killua sits himself down on the couch and turns on the television to Heavens Arena’s channel. He attempts to ignore the hushed conversation among the two and the occasional giggle from the girl. 

His eyes try to fixate on the screen in front of him. 

“Wow, that was quite brave of you.” 

“It was really fun, I had Killua with me. He might be moody, but he’s reassuring to be around. We’ve been through a lot together.” Gon’s voice can hardly be heard but it is enough for Killua to overhear. 

Killua smiles. They really have. 

“So you two are settling down here, then?”

“Ah, we’ll be gone in a few days. We travel around a lot. I meet a lot of wonderful people that way though, like you.” Killua can’t tell if that last part was flirtation or his indiscriminate friendliness.

There’s a moment’s pause. “That’s too bad. Well, I’d love to show you around my place for the night, if that’s the case. Spend a little more quality time together before you take off.. You know?”

Killua immediately tenses at that.  _Is she for real?_ Before Gon can respond—

“We need to wake up early tomorrow to train,” interjects Killua from across the room. He completely reveals the fact he was eavesdropping with that, but his skin crawls at the thought of that girl taking Gon home for the night. He clenches his fists. 

“Was I asking you?” Cynthia challenges. This mildly surprises Killua considering she was so polite and mellow upon introduction.

“Gon and I are partners. I should have a say in  _suggestions_ that fuck with our plans,” he retorts, standing up from the couch now. 

Killua meets his friend’s gaze. Gon is equally irritated and confused, looking back and forth between the two. He opens his mouth to speak several times but closes it shortly afterwards. 

“Gon, are you just going to let him do that?” She clutches at the ends of her tight blue dress and frowns.

Gon finally offers her an embarrassed smile. “Actually, can you give us a few minutes?”

Cynthia purses her lips, and finally obliges. A few steps and she leaves the hotel room with a click of the door.

A short silence engulfs the room as the question hangs in the air.

“What’s your problem, Killua?” 

The two teens’ eyes meet. Gon’s angry and that’s pretty obvious. Killua can’t say any differently about himself.

“She’s gone now, are you happy? So now you have to tell me why you’ve been acting all weird.”

Killua grits his teeth. “Don’t you see it? She just wants to get in your pants! You could tell by how different she started acting when you said you wouldn’t be sticking around.” It was obvious, wasn’t it?

“So what, Killua? What if I  _want_ to go with her? How is that any of your business?” 

Killua’s heart sinks. His clenched hands loosen and he drops his gaze to the floor. He can’t bear to look at the one he loves most right now.

Did Gon really mean that? It’s not his business but it  _is_. Or is it?

Killua’s stomach is twisting. His best friend really is growing up, but he’d never anticipated this kind of change. Gon had always given him the impression of being completely blind to the opposite sex.

“You don’t understand.”

“Then make me!”

And with that, Killua is at a loss for words. How could he make Gon understand? What was he supposed to say,  _ Hey Gon, I’ve been madly in love with you for the past few years and it’s tearing my heart up that you’d consider sleeping around with a stranger instead of me?_

Killua can not help but scold himself. Their friendship is so precious to him, and all he can think about is fucking it up with some unrequited love. Shouldn’t what they have be enough?

He should be encouraging him, shouldn’t he? Motivating the teen to branch off and have his own experiences, meet new people. He loves Gon after all. 

(Fuck, he really does.)

But how can he be supportive of this? Is he really expected to watch idly as his treasured friend strolls off into the hands of some stranger who will only use him for getting off?

After a sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but Cynthia’s waiting for me in the hall. Let’s talk about it in the morning.” Gon turns to the door. 

Killua watches his friend from behind solemnly. The way his strong muscles tense to each movement, the scars he wears that Killua can identify every origin of, the ruffled hair that leaves behind dark strands Killua mysteriously finds on his clothes throughout the day.

Tonight, they will all be claimed only by a stranger.

“Yeah.” 


	3. Chapter 3

As Killua befriended Gon over the last several years, he’s found that the world is a scarier place then he’d thought— For reasons he’d never expect. 

He’s endured pain, abuse, isolation, torture, and far more but nothing could have prepared him for this. 

“..Gon?”

Killua’s fingers let go of the door handle in defeat. His eyes burn into the image before him. He can’t stop  _looking_.

Gon is hovering above a naked ginger who stares at Killua in shock. Gon too is unclothed and his back gleams with sweat. His hair is a complete mess.

There’s a hot, musky smell in the room. Clothes lie scattered around on the floor around the cabin bed, the bed  _they_ were supposed to sleep in tonight. 

“Ah, Killua! Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” The girl beneath him has already covered herself with the closest blanket, but Gon makes no effort.

_So casual._ Killua’s vision reddens.

His hands tremble and he wants to say something, anything instead of staring. This seems like a sick dream. Twisted.

Killua clenches his teeth and forces himself not to let out any tears.  _Not now._

“That’s how it is, huh?”

That’s all he can manage before he slams the door shut behind him. 

  
Killua steps back out into the icy winter night.The moon shines brightly above and snow drifts peacefully down to the Earth. It would have been a pleasant view, if not for the circumstances.

Killua bolts.

He doesn’t know where he’s running to but it has to be  _away_. He doesn’t want to see Gon’s face and especially not that stranger’s, whoever the fuck she is. 

His footsteps are deadly silent against the snow as he swiftly weaves throughout the Pine trees of the forest. The city lights gleam East and can be seen through the branches. He’ll go the other way. 

After a minute or two of sprinting, Killua settles himself under a small Pine and plants himself in the patch of grass underneath the branches, untouched by snow. He pulls his knees up to his chin and grabs them tightly.

...And all he can think about is the image of Gon having sex with a stranger. 

“Fuck!” Killua hisses. Tears creep to the corner of his eyes. He wants to force them back inside and scold himself for crying over something so petty. But they only grow more until they begin sliding down his cold cheeks.

It’s hard to come to terms with the fact Gon makes him so... soft. 

Killua rarely cried in his youth. He was taught growing up that such strong feelings are a vulnerability, and he accepted that. It was a convenient way to live. 

But God, when he met Gon.. everything changed. There’s no denying the reality of these kinds of feelings. They’re so  foreign to him. Nobody ever prepared him for love, and all the strength and weakness that comes with it.

Killua leans his head on the trunk of the tree and closes his eyes tight. He steadies his mind and focuses on his breath.  _In and out._

His parents may not have taught him about love, but they did show him how to stifle emotions that conflicted with successful assassination. It can be applied.

All he can hear is his raspy breath deepening now, and his mind begins to clear.

In, out.

—Fuck—

In, out.

In, out. 

The world goes dark.

The ex-assassin’s eyes shoot open. He hears footsteps from afar. How long was he asleep?

“Killua?”

It’s Gon.

A figure is approaching. Gon’s fully dressed now, his brown winter jacket and boots. His hair is still a mess. 

As he comes close, Killua tenses. He brings his eyes down to the snow and says nothing. 

“What’s wrong? Why are you out here like this?”

“I came out here for a reason. I don’t want to talk.” There’s little maliciousness in his voice, instead it’s spoken like fact. 

Gon sits at his side now.He rests his head against the tree and gazes out into the winter snow, too. Killua is aware of their thighs pressed against each other. 

“Well, too bad.” Of course.

Gon looks at Killua from his side and studies his pale face. With all his stubbornness, he waits for Killua to respond.

“..How could you have sex with just anyone like that?” The words on Killua’s mind come out before he can stop them. There’s a moment’s silence between them after that. 

Gon peers out ahead thoughtfully. He twiddles his thumbs as if nothing is wrong at all. 

“Well, it feels good. And it can be pretty fun. If someone kind and pretty is open to sharing that with me, why wouldn’t I?”

Killua gawks at him. Is it really that simple to him?

“Don’t you want to share it with someone who actually loves you and doesn’t just want to use you?” 

What angers Killua most is that  he wouldn’t treat him like that. He’d treasure Gon, kiss him gently and tell him how special he is. 

He’d show him making love.

“Honestly I don’t think love is necessary for sex. Animals who’ve never seen each other have it all the time— it’s just a means to an end, you know?” Gon rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “It just never seemed like something you should put much thought into. For me it all comes down to doing what feels right in the moment.”

A part of Killua should have known Gon’s perspective would be so simple and intuitive. Killua’s his best friend and he’s pretty easy to figure out, after all.

Yet the other part of him was pleading for something else. He wishes Gon would tell him he’ll wait until he’s happy with someone special to him. If it’s not going to be Killua, it should at least be someone that can give him the world. 

“Aren’t you worried about catching something? Some of that shit will follow you around for life.” 

Gon furrows his brows. “I know about all that. I make sure to use protection and I’m not stupid about it.” 

Killua looks away, a little regretful about how naggy that seemed. If his aunt isn’t around, he just has to make sure Gon is safe— it feels like an obligation or something. Gon might have some smarts in battle but his ignorance is going to bite him in the ass one day.

“I guess I can’t argue with that,” Killua replies softly, with an exhale. There’s rejection in his voice.

“Are you jealous?”

Killua’s eyes instantly widen. His shoulders stiffen. Has Gon caught on? He is certain—  _pretty _certain, at least— that Gon wouldn’t expect anything other than close brotherly love from him.

Well, Killua hasn’t exactly been subtle about his feelings towards the situation. He had never anticipated Gon figuring it out, though. 

“I’m not stopping you from trying it yourself, you know. If you need privacy, or—“ 

_ Should have known.  _

“God, you’re so thick-headed,” Killua grunts. “Leave it alone, will ya? Go back to your.. whoever. She’s probably waiting for you.”

Gon says nothing at that. He watches Killua with a frown and gets up slowly. 

To his surprise, his best friend brushes the pine needles from his behind and turns towards the cabin.  


Killua is left alone against the tree, peering at the figure disappearing into the depth of the heavy snow. 


	4. Chapter 4

It took a few weeks for Killua to grow used to his best friend’s discovery of the world of sex. 

Gon had kept on the down-low after Killua had walked in on him that winter night. It was apparent Killua didn’t like his experimentation; he didn’t know  _why, _but it wouldn’t be right to make it obvious, knowing that. 

When Killua asked Gon where he was off to, he wasn’t honest. He wasn’t  _dishonest,_ however. Killua knew what was going on either way. It went something like:

“..Where you headed off to?”

“Downtown. I’ll see you in a bit!” 

A simple yet vague answer. 

And every time Killua was left alone with a sense of dread. The feeling hadn’t gotten any better as the weeks passed, but at least he’s used to it.

Killua lies sprawled on the hotel floor, shoulder propping up a phone to his ear. He mindlessly thumbs through a Hunter’s Digest magazine as he speaks.

He doesn’t often reach out to Kurapika or Leorio, but the night had called for it. The phone call was intended to keep his mind off Gon, but that won’t last long at all.

“—And we eventually kicked his ass. Gon was more than happy to do it after he used the old guy as a hostage.” 

A low hum over the phone. “I’m not surprised by that. I’m bet he’s gotten much stronger. How’s he, by the way?”

“Huh, Gon? He’s fine, I guess. He’s been out and about a lot though.” The last part he adds with resentment in his voice, which he instantly regrets. He shouldn’t have babbled. 

“How so?”

Killua furrows his brows at the inevitable question. “You know. Meeting new people and.. all that.” 

“Dating?”

There was a reason why Killua regretted bringing that up to Kurapika. He really let his guard down with being accustomed to Gon’s naivety. 

“Yeah.”

Kurapika laughs softly amongst himself. “It’s surprising to see Gon jump into that so quickly. It’s only been a year or two since we’ve seen each other, he’s really grown hasn’t he?”

“I guess,” he replies sullenly. 

“You have too, Killua. Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you jealous?”

  
Killua’s face reddens at Kurapika’s bluntness. It takes him back to the conversation he had with Gon— the one where he had asked the same question. Except this time..

“Why would I be jealous? If I wanted to mess around with girls, I’d be doing it by now. I don’t need his permission.” 

There’s a smile in Kurapika’s voice. “I didn’t mean to imply you’re jealous of  _Gon__._” 

The blond is smarter than what’s good for him. That’s what really set him and Gon apart. 

“I don’t— He— Of course not.” Killua really wishes he weren’t so easily flustered. At this point it’s unreasonable to wiggle out of the confrontation. Kurapika must be pretty certain now. 

“I’m surprised something like this hasn’t happened sooner, in all honesty. You two are really close.” There’s a pause. “Does he know?”

“Why would I tell him something like that?” Killua catches himself. “If I  _was_ jealous. Why does any of this matter, anyway?”

“Because you’re his best friend, Killua. Even if he won’t understand, he still cares about your feelings. I actually think you’re doing the relationship a disservice if you’ve been dwelling on it.” 

Killua has completely forgotten about the magazine in front of him. He runs his spare hand nervously through his hair. 

Does Kurapika have a point? Killua reflects upon the concerned looks from Gon when he gets pissed off at him for a reason Gon doesn’t understand. A reason that Killua would always refuse to explain. 

Sure, Gon must be pretty confused, but is it worth compromising what they have now? Or is Kurapika right about the possibility of Gon taking the news with maturity?

Killua won’t admit he’s jealous, but he won’t necessarily deny it either. “I.. don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Fuck, that’s technically admitting it right?

“Think of it this way then,” Kurapika says over the phone. “If you don’t speak up, nothing’s going to change.”

Killua hadn’t considered that. He frowns at the thought of having to watch Gon disappear with a new girl every couple days, completely oblivious to the intention behind Killua’s anger.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask for. You’re pretty bright, I think you’ll figure it out.” 

Killua lightly chews on his knuckle. “Hopefully.” That part is hardly a whisper.

The conversation drifts to a new topic (Thank God) and from that one to the next, but Killua is distracted as he talks.  _If you don’t speak up, nothings going to change._

After a few minutes his absent-minded speech becomes apparent, and Kurapika seems to catch onto that. 

“I’ll let you go now, Killua. There are a few things I need to attend to before I head off to sleep.”

“Good luck with that,” replies Killua.

The two say their goodbyes and hang up.

Killua exhales heavily and flips on his back. It felt kind of.. nice to talk to somebody about all that. To get a second opinion. He didn’t have to make a dramatic confession about it, too— Kurapika just knew what was on his mind.

He stares up at the ceiling in thought. 

Kurapika may have had a point. Gon is exceptionally open-minded and had always accepted Killua no matter what. Why would this be any different? 

He picks himself up from the carpeted floor and stretches, relieving the stiffness of his toned muscles. The hotel room is big and expensive. The two didn’t opt for such a grandiose room for most of the wealthy features though; the large television and king sized bed is often what catches their eye.

Killua jumps onto said bed and lands on his stomach. Heavenly. He buries his face into the soft pillows. 

..When will Gon be back? 

The time estimate given was 9 o’clock. It was well past that, so what the hell?

Killua mentally scolds himself. It’s not like he’s Gon’s mom or something. He needs to give it a break. Really.

He forces his mind away from his best friend and daydreams until his lashes flutter shut. Time seems to slip and his body sinks into the comfort of the hotel bed. 

Killua is awoken to a soft click of the door. It’s Gon. His body relaxes at the familiar and craved presence of his best friend having finally returned.

He soon feels a weight at the other side of the bed. Gon has a different smell than usual tonight as he rests at Killua’s side, both good and bad. Fruity, but stinky. 

Killua opens his eyes and they shift to the clock at the end table to his side. 3:41 in the morning.

“You said you’d be back hours ago.” Killua’s voice is hushed. Almost defeated. 

“Sorry if you were waiting for me. I lost track of time,” Gon admits. 

Killua turns away from his friend. “Yeah, you did.” 

The room falls silent after that. There’s a moment of uncomfortable tension between them that Killua is sharply aware of. Chronic feelings of confusion and unspoken resentment are ever present. 

For several minutes it remains that way. Gon’s breath hasn’t slipped into his usual rhythm of sleep, instead it’s a little stiff. Killua isn’t tired anymore. 

“Killua?” 

“...Yeah?”

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Killua’s breath hitches. He turns his head to his best friend, who’s eyes can be seen wide and concerned through the dark. 

Genuine concern. Kurapika’s words echo in his thoughts.  _Because you’re his best friend, Killua. Even if he won’t understand, he still cares about your feelings._

He no longer doubts it. 

“It’s about the girls again, isn’t it?” Gon sighs softly. “I can’t read your mind Killua, but I definitely try to.. I just think it’d be easier if everything were cleared up, don’t you?” 

Yes, Gon.

“We’re best friends, aren’t we?”

Admitting the truth is the right thing to do. After talking about it with Kurapika and some contemplation, he had hesitantly accepted that fact. Gon’s innocent eyes peering back at him only guarantee that. 

Even if it isn’t the right thing to do for the relationship, at least he’d be doing it for Gon.

“You were right,” Killua musters after clearing his throat. Gon’s brows raise a little at that. “You know, that one night I walked in on you and that stranger.” 

Gon goes silent, interest clearly piqued. He listens attentively. It’s safe to assume he’d been hoping for some clarification for a while, now. 

“I was pretty jealous. I still am, I guess.” Killua closes his eyes and pulls the blanket up to his face.  _Do it for Gon__. _“But not of you.” 

He’s still silent. Is that a good or bad sign? What’s he thinking? 

“You were jealous.. of the girl?” Gon elaborates slowly, as if putting the pieces together. 

_Took you long enough, honestly_ _._ Killua waits for a response tensely.

“Killua, you could have told me that a long time ago.”

And Gon smiles, as if everything will be alright. A bright grin that nearly illuminate the darkness. Beautiful.

This is why he loves Gon.

“I guess I’ve thought about getting dirty with you before a few times, is that normal?” Gon chuckles sheepishly. “I’ve never done it with another guy before, but I’m always willing to try something new.” Gon’s voice is softer now. “If that’s what you’re wanting.” 

_ It was that easy?! _

Killua opens his mouth to speak, but quickly closes it. What the hell does he even say to that? And more importantly, should he be concerned that it was so easy for Gon to make that suggestion? 

Killua’s not looking to experiment. Well, he is technically, but not in the way  _Gon_ is. Would they be seeing eye to eye if Killua agrees to his suggestion? 

“Gon, I’m looking for more than that. Not that I don’t want to sleep with you,” the words redden his face the instant they leave his mouth, “I just.. don’t want it to be like all the other times you’ve done it. I want it to be different.” 

Killua frowns and looks down. 

“I don’t want to be just another one.”

After a moment of consideration, “How the hell would it be the same as having sex with those girls?” 

Killua’s eyes widen. 

“Killua, you’re my favorite person on the whole planet,” Gon announces. “You’re handsome and you care so much for me. You tell me when I’m being a dumbass and you’re always at my side, no matter what. Having sex with you would be a totally different experience.” Gon’s sitting up on the bed now, beaming with earnestness. 

Killua can’t believe his ears. The two gaze at each other in the silence. He always knew Gon appreciated him, but actually hearing something so heartfelt was... 

He’s suddenly thankful for the darkness, because his face is burning bright red. 

“_Wow_. I, uh, I never expected you to be so down for it. ..Do you really mean all that?”

Gon never replies. Instead Killua feels strong fingertips slowly crawl up his thigh in the darkness. A strong shiver runs across his body. 

“You want to  _now_?” Killua is very aware of Gon’s presence near his growing erection. The guy really cuts to the chase. 

“Why not?” Gon responds simply. “I’m kind of turned on now, honestly.” 

How can he just say things like that?

Gon slides callused fingers closer to his growing warmth. Killua’s breath hitches at that, and he gives in.

“Fuck.. Alright, Gon.”


	5. Chapter 5

It wouldn’t be the only time Killua would have sex with Gon.

Killua’s eyes flutter open when bright, early morning sunlight begins pouring in the room. It surprises him to see Gon at his side asleep. It’s seldom that Killua wakes up before he does.

God, he’s beautiful. 

With all his usual tossing and turning at night, the messy blankets hardly cover his nakedness. The light strikes his love in a way that makes his skin glow golden. His lips are parted slightly and his hair falls in every direction.

Killua’s blue eyes soften fondly.

It’s been 3 days since they’ve had their first intimate experience with each other and Gon hasn’t been on a date since. They’ve spent most of their time amongst themselves and it’s actually been pretty nice. 

Half the time having sex, of course.

Killua is a highly sexual person— That’s something he’s always known about himself. He may not have expressed it in the same way as his friend, but indecent thoughts are often near the forefront of his mind. With Gon’s emerging sexuality, there’s isn’t much to stop the two from constantly indulging. 

Gon awakens with a yawn and a stretch huge enough to push into Killua. He quickly notices and greets his best friend with a toothy grin.

“Mornin’.”

“Morning, Gon.”

The two give each other a knowing look. 

Before Killua knows it, Gon turns over and pulls himself on top of the hunter. He eagerly positions himself between Killua’s legs and gazes down at him with a sleepy hunger. Killua’s pale and naked body lies before him. 

Gon reaches his lips down to the silver hairs coming up in a thin trail from his pelvis. He runs his tongue along the line of body hair, nearly reaching the erection he woke up with. 

_Fuck_ _. _Killua closes his eyes and wets his lips. His skin eagerly awaits Gon’s next move.

That is, until a phone rings on the end table. 

They both freeze. Gon furrows his brows and lifts his head up. He eyes Killua, who now watches him intently.

“I should answer that.”

Killua’s gaze sharpens and he crosses his arms over his exposed chest. “Yeah. Go ahead.” 

Gon reaches over Killua to the end table and answers the call. He doesn’t leave his spot between Killua’s bare legs to talk. The hunter’s ears flush pink at that, unsure of what to do with himself now. 

“Ah— hey,” Gon says through the phone. He scratches the back of his head. “I know, I just wasn’t expecting a call so early.”

A moments pause as the person on the other end speaks. Gon’s face twists awkwardly at something they must have said. Killua raises a brow.

“Sorry, I can’t today. Well, I don’t think I can anymore at all to be honest. Some stuff has come up. You’re a great person, though— I’ve had a lot of fun with you!”

Killua lights up a little, despite himself. Had Gon just rejected someone? 

Another moment of the girl speaking and Gon smiles. “Thanks for understanding. You too.”

And with that, the call ends and the two hunters are left alone together. 

“What was that all about?” Killua asks, despite knowing exactly what that call was.

“Well, someone I know asked me if I could meet her for dinner.” Gon’s large brown eyes catch his own expectedly. 

Killua doesn’t realize that his lips are forming the softest smile. “What changed? I kind of expected you to jump back to those girls, to be honest.” He’s feeling pretty good, so the last part is teasing.

Gon looks between the two of them as if saying  what do you think? and gives Killua a lopsided grin. 

“Us,” he replies. “I mean, things are just different now, aren’t they? Having sex with you isn’t the same as everyone else.”

Killua’s light eyes gleam at that. It seems Gon has been enjoying their experiences quite a bit too. He listens attentively.

“You treat me like I’m beautiful, Killua.” Gon sits up straight now and there’s a smile to his voice. “You touch me like I’m special and treasured. Nobody else does that. After I saw that from you, I kind of understand why you were so upset at the thought of someone else’s hands on me,” he admits. 

_ They don’t know your worth,Gon_. Killua reflects on all those girls and how little they knew him. They were ignorant to his strength, how ridiculously stubborn he is, how much brightness he carries. How gorgeous he is on the  _inside._

“And I realize how different touching you feels, too,” he continues. Killua’s expression perks up. “I really, really like it.” Gon’s tough hand slides up Killua’s bare chest from in between his legs. The blue eyed teen sucks in a short breath. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” 

The two gaze at each other for that moment. The fact they’re both completely naked doesn’t hold much significance. It’s comfortable.

“And. You said you were looking for something more than sex, weren’t you?” 

Killua’s stomach flutters.  _Yes.  
_Gon’s eyes are almost expecting as Killua relieves the words that have been on the back of his mind for a long time.

“..Gon, let’s do something special tonight. Just me and you.”


End file.
